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Daily Prophet: Special Rush Edition

Hogwarts Student Found Near Death After Owl Assault

Oct. 3, 2008, 5:10 p.m.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (DP) - A Hogwarts student has been transferred to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries today after an absurd raining of owls. Hermione Bagnold of Ravenclaw House was eating a late dinner in the Great Hall with her roommates, Rowena Bladvak and Arriana Stylos, when a group of owls appeared to attack her. It turns out that they were all merely overzealous in delivering their packages, all being new owls from various owleries around the globe. The Ministry of Magic is looking into the situation to determine if this was truly by mere chance.

"It was pretty scary," says Rowena of the attack. "Out of nowhere, owls came all at once for her. One from a yarn dyer, one from the U.S. with potions supplies, one from a member of her own family, and another with a contest prize." Hermione seemed to obtain nothing but surface scratches and bruises from the initial group, but the last owl that came in is the one that kept her from being held at Hogwarts' hospital wing. A package from a certain Elladora Madley contained a hat that all but finished her off.

Elladora's representative maintains that it was an act of following dueling club procedures, and nothing more. Elladora herself has not yet been reached for comment, though she appeared to be overjoyed at the news her package found it's mark.

"Hermione was pretty stressed out about the duel's outcome," confides fellow Ravenclaw Minerva Wood. "She sent her owl out for delivery first and was anticipating going far in the tournament. I guess Elladora just had a better owl."

An anonymous Slytherin scoffed at the idea that it came down to the owls. "I suspect dark magic involvement," he states mysteriously. "I mean, Hermione finished her hat first and then helped out the others struggling with the pattern on top of it all! I think that Elladora should have surrendered on those terms alone."

A member of Gryffindor House, Prendolyn Wilcox, disagrees. "Hermione was all about fair. She helped out a lot of us that were struggling with figuring the hat out. She said it was an unfair advantage if others were seriously struggling with it. There are some things that are just beyond control, like international owls."

A second Slytherin, Ophelia Crookshanks, a friend of Hermione's long before the entered at Hogwarts, was only slightly shocked. "She did it to herself, you know. She helped her opponent out. Encouraged her to keep trying. I've seen Hermy do it before. When we were in Muggle school together, there was one spot open for Drum Major, and there was only one person that was an actual threat to her obtaining her goal, and he was going to give up! She told him he was better than he thought and convinced him to try out anyway, and he beat her out by half of a point!"

That story does not surprise her soft-spoken roommate Arriana. "She is a very encouraging person. I hope she pulls through!"

Hermione remains under close watch at St. Mungo's, with little hope of recovering, but many hope that she will beat the odds and come back to the duels, thirsty for more.

12 comments:

ROFL!!!! I sound like such a gossip! Hilarious and very well written Hermione! :)

October 3, 2008 at 10:41 AM  

LOL, That's what reporters do to people they get the quotes from! LOL I guess my year of Journalism in high school has paid off. ;) Glad you enjoyed it! :)

October 3, 2008 at 10:48 AM  

LOL, great story, well written. I wonder why Rowena didn't let me in on it before it came out in the prophet. I'll have to have a talk with that girl.

October 3, 2008 at 10:59 AM  

Very well written! And it was quite amusing to read. ^_^

-Tia Pascal, Slytherin <3

October 3, 2008 at 12:16 PM  

Great Read! Thanks for the heads up on crazy owl's

October 3, 2008 at 12:37 PM  

Hahaha Hermy! You made me laugh so hard I spilled water on the table!! You would have made a great drom major by the way!!! Ophelia Crookshanks

October 3, 2008 at 2:42 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

October 4, 2008 at 12:09 AM  

hang in there Hermione!
You'll make it!
Dam those cursed owls!

October 4, 2008 at 12:10 AM  

ROTFLMAO! Grandma

October 4, 2008 at 3:45 AM  

that was awesome! thankis for writing that up and good job! ha! i was in the paper im famous now!

October 4, 2008 at 11:13 PM  

I loved it! Very entertaining!

October 5, 2008 at 7:13 AM  

whatever the owl did during delivery has nothing to do with me!!

::wide innocent eyes::

I did not pay him extra to attack. Nope Nope.

October 5, 2008 at 7:34 PM  

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